Dawn’s Journal: The Future We Once Couldn’t See
In our latest Parent’s Journal, Dawn kindly reflects on the lasting impact of a childhood cancer diagnosis, the challenges of life after treatment and a reminder that, even when it feels impossible, there can be light at the end of the tunnel.
-
Jaide completed her treatment at the end of 1997.
Jaide had numerous rounds of intensive chemotherapy and surgery, to remove the tumour from her pelvis and spine. When she finished treatment, we were incredibly grateful that she was still with us, but I didn’t switch off the fear when treatment ended.
As a parent, every scan, appointment and illness brought those memories flooding back from diagnosis and treatment. Jaide continued to have regular MRI scans until she was transferred to adult cancer services at 19 years old. As the years passed, life gradually became more normal and watching Jaide grow up into the young woman she is today, has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.
The last scan that she had, still revealed tumour on her spine but thankfully this appears to be benign and no further treatment required.
Life after treatment has been a mixture of gratitude, normality and at times anxiety.
Today, Jaide is a mum to three beautiful triplet girls that were conceived naturally. There were times through treatment when I couldn’t imagine her having a future, and this is why the title of my book, The Future We Once Couldn’t See, means so much to me.
“Life after treatment has been a mixture of gratitude, normality and at times anxiety.”
-
I asked Jaide herself to answer this question:
As a childhood cancer survivor, I’m incredibly grateful for every day and try to live life to the fullest. I still deal with ongoing joint pain and struggles with my mental health, which can be difficult at times.
At just 33, I’m also being tested for early menopause, which has been another unexpected challenge. Life after cancer isn’t always easy, but I’m thankful to be here and making memories. I’ve learned not to take life for granted and to appreciate every moment.
-
Always look forward and never look back.
You can’t change the here and now and the diagnosis of cancer and so it is about taking each day at a time and never giving up hope.
-
This means so much to me as it is so important that we make everyone aware that cancer does affect children and is a very different diagnosis and journey, to an adult having cancer.
Research into childhood cancers is vital and it was research that helped Jaide as treatments that had been previously used on children with Neuroblastoma, did not work at all on Jaide’s tumour.
-
I think the thing that shocked me most was the lack of literature from parents of children who have survived Neuroblastoma.
Throughout Jaide’s treatment, it seemed that all we ever heard was bad news and the negatives of the diagnosis and we desperately needed to hear that there could possibly be light at the end of the tunnel.
“...we desperately needed to hear that there could possibly be light at the end of the tunnel.”
-
It’s definitely watching Jaide grow up into the most beautiful young lady who makes me proud every day.
She lives every day to the full and realises how blessed she is to have survived her diagnosis. Jaide had triplet girls naturally, when we had been warned that she probably would never have children, due to the intensive chemotherapy endured.
My son, Callum, was only 2 years old when his sister was diagnosed and watching him grow into the kind, patient and wonderful young man he is today, has made me a proud mum. Callum and his partner Alex, also gave me a granddaughter, Gianna, to treasure and love.
I feel truly blessed to have two amazing grown-up children and four perfect granddaughters.
“I feel truly blessed to have two amazing grown-up children and four perfect granddaughters.”
-
I will never forget our social worker warning me that many marriages break down due to the stress of having a child with cancer. I never thought that would happen to me as my husband was my soulmate and was by our sides throughout Jaide’s treatment. However, sadly the marriage did break down and we became like strangers.
I feel this was due to the pressure we both were under. My children were my focus and I just needed to put them first and be there for them both and protect them.
-
Since I was a little girl, I dreamt of being a children’s nurse. In 2000 I started training as a Paediatric nurse and once qualified, worked at Alder Hey Children’s hospital, where Jaide had been a patient all those years ago.
I have won four nursing awards throughout my nursing career and feel blessed that I can now give support to many families, as the nurses once gave to my family. I am now service lead nurse for Salford Paediatric Diabetes Service. I love spending time with my family, particularly my granddaughters and husband.
I never take life for granted and I am eternally grateful that Jaide is now 33 years old, healthy, happy and successful in all that she does.
-
I wrote a bucket list many years ago and one thing I always wanted to do was write a book to tell people about my journey having a child with cancer. I want other parents going through this journey to see that there can be light at the end of the tunnel and to try and think positively. There can be a future they cannot currently see.
When Jaide was diagnosed, I desperately wanted to read a book like this, where there is something positive at the end of cancer treatment and to never give up hope.
My book is called The Future We Once Couldn’t See and is available on Amazon. I will be donating from the book sales to Neuroblastoma UK, to thank them for the amazing work they do.
“When Jaide was diagnosed, I desperately wanted to read a book like this, where there is something positive at the end of cancer treatment and to never give up hope.”
Thank you so much to Dawn for sharing her experience and thoughts.
If you are a parent at the beginning of a neuroblastoma diagnosis check out our Navigating a Neuroblastoma Diagnosis resources.
